From Dan Wallace, 8/1/08

RE: Being a dad to a special needs child

I have the privilege of being David Wallace’s dad. David is six years old and a delight to me and many others. If you’ve been around LFC much you’ve probably seen David and the chances are pretty good you might have been hugged by him or at least shook his hand. David loves people and has absolutely no inhibitions about showing it. That’s one of the lessons God is teaching me through David. But the biggest lesson God had for me through David was the first.

David has Down Syndrome. DS is a genetic condition that impacts David in a number of ways. Some things in life come much harder for people with DS. Kids with DS grow and develop more slowly than other kids. Walking and speech are delayed. But there are advantages as well. I’ve never seen David judge anyone. At a family funeral I saw him reduce a rough older man to tears with a hug. That man had a lifelong struggle with alcohol, and it showed in his appearance. At least it showed to me. David didn’t notice. It didn’t slow him down at all.

When David was born we were surprised to find out that he had DS. We didn’t have all the tests run that would have alerted us to that before his birth. More shocking and urgent was that he also had a heart malformation that is common with kids with DS. That heart problem would make the first six months of his life very challenging. But the immediate concern the day of his birth was getting through the day. And that was where God not only showed up, but he did some work in my heart as well.

To understand this you have to know that David is our second son. Caleb was born two years before David. I remember sitting and holding Caleb the day he was born and how I felt toward this little child. He was a big, strong, beautiful baby, and the love I felt was incredible. What I felt toward him was so powerful that it gave me new insight into the love God has for me.

But the day that David was born was a different mix of emotions. There was a lot of fear and confusion on that day. But there was also something that was much more powerful. The same love I had felt for Caleb was there, but it had a different flavor. David was born with problems and with wounds that Caleb didn’t have. And because he was my son the wounds and challenges intensified my love and my concern for him.

After the confusion and activity of that day had passed, God started showing me His heart for me. I began to see that His grace was much bigger than I had thought. My defects, challenges and wounds didn’t make God want to turn His back on me. They made Him want to run to me, throw His arms around me and to restore me to His original design. His grace is still bigger than I can understand but I’m learning to walk in it more and more each day. And David isn’t done teaching me lessons.